The Things We Hide
​a Manjirou "Mikey" Sano x OC one shot
The waiting area teemed with borderline mayhem, too frantic for even the scent of hospital-grade disinfectant to subdue. Emma hadn't stopped crying since Takemichi broke the news, and Hina's yukata was getting damper with every passing minute-- though judging by how fiercely she gripped Emma, Hina either didn't notice or didn't care.
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Battered and bruised, Mitsuya should have been exhausted from his fight with Moebius, but instead he was riding on anger, punching every wall and screaming profanities as Takemichi somberly relayed the severity of Draken's condition.
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Peh Yan stood unmoving by the wall, head hung, no doubt trying to process his feeling. Shock, horror, regret... given his track record and subservience to emotions, it could have been all of the above and more.
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Saki's emotional state wasn't any better than the rest of Toman's affiliates, but she was the only one who had enough control over her panic to just stop, sit, and breathe.
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Honestly, Saki wanted to slug Peh Yan. Not just for stooping so low as to side with Moebius, but for ganging up on Draken like a coward. Yet, as much as she wanted to act on her impulse, she knew she couldn't. Because Saki took an oath. She was bound by honor. And although she resented what he'd done, she understood where Peh Yan was coming from. His actions weren't the least bit honorable, but his intentions, at least, were somewhat respectful.
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Saki breathed out slow. Her head hurt. She didn't know whether that was on account of the umbrella she took to the head or the stacked, frenzied clamor of her agitated friends.
Saki pulled out her phone and re-read her most recent text.
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Eiju General.
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She had sent it to Mikey about 15 minutes ago, letting him know which hospital they were at.
Either he was still tied up with Moebius' acting leader, Hanma, or he had to stop for gas. She'd put her bet on the former. Mikey took care of his CB250T better even than he took care of himself. He'd never let his babu go hungry.
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Saki's phone suddenly buzzed, drawing her attention down to the incoming text.
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Wait for me.
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Saki barely finished reading the words before she caught the sound of his footsteps.
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Mikey's footsteps were distinct.
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Saki grew up listening for it on those nights he'd sneak into her father's dojo to spar with her. Barefoot on the tatami, Mikey's steps would give away a lot of what he was thinking, and therefore a lot of what he would do next. Clad in sandals against the hospital's vinyl floors, Mikey's footsteps offered a familiar cadence that was both steady and reassuring.
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The minute Mikey's drenched figure appeared in the waiting area, Saki felt an inexplicable calm wash over her. Mikey always knew how to command a room. He knew how without even having to say anything. His presence was just that powerful. He was just that powerful.
A chorus of his name came from his subordinates which he quickly brushed off, admonishing that their voices were too loud for a hospital.
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Mikey placed a firm hand on Emma's shoulders, before proceeding towards the operating room doors. He stood in front of them solemnly, peering up at the red-lit 'surgery-in-progress' light. Glancing to the right, he caught Saki's gaze. Some heavy, unnamed emotion passed between them.
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Saki blinked once. Mikey nodded. Taking a breath, he steadily launched into a grand anecdote about how Draken had always been a man of his word and how he had promised Mikey they'd rule the world together. The smile on Mikey's face was blindingly genuine, effectively instilling hope back into a room where it once shattered.
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But Saki knew Mikey kept his eyes closed for the same reason she kept her lips sealed. So that they wouldn't end up betraying their true emotions. And as Mikey strolled over to take a seat next to her, she didn't miss the way he stuffed his hands between his thighs. Reaching over, Saki wordlessly slipped her hands into Mikey's, and sure enough, they were trembling.
He was scared shitless.
Mikey looked at her, and Saki wasn't sure if he was going to kill her for being so direct or to lecture her for barging into a fight he had explicitly told her to stay out of.
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Saki wasn't going to wait to find out.
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"We're soaked. I'll find us some towels." Her voice broke, as she knew it would, which only hastened her actions. Draken was Mikey's shore. And now with the tide coming in, Saki couldn't let him know his rock was crumbling too. Yet, before she could pull her hand away, Mikey jerked her back.
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"Stay," he whispered. And Saki couldn't refuse him. Not when he sounded as broken as she did. Mikey couldn't lose Draken. They were a team, filling in for what the other lacked; a balancing act. They needed each other. Without one, the other would fall.
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And if Mikey fell. Toman would undoubtedly fall with him.
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Saki squelched the rising panic at the thought of losing any one of her family members. Instead, she focused on the feel of Mikey's pulse beating between her fingers, centering herself.
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"It'll be okay," Saki muttered, squeezing his hand. She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince more, him or herself.
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Saki felt a tremor race under Mikey's skin. As she idly brushed her thumbs over his knuckles, Saki repeated her mantra.
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"He'll be okay."
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Saki didn't know how much time had passed. She would have dozed off, if she wasn't drenched in unease. She was glad Mikey was here. She had a feeling her anxiety would have skyrocketed if his hand wasn't holding hers. Grounding her.
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When the red progress light flicked off, Saki snapped her head up so quickly, she almost smashed her skull against Mikey's chin. Luckily, his reflexes were faster, veering back just in time.
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As the doctors walked out to announce the good news, a new kind of mayhem broke out in the waiting room, a concoction of flooding relief and echoing joy. Saki felt the tension leave Mikey's body as she buried her face in his neck.
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"Oh, thank God," she breathed.
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Mikey choked. "You don't believe in God."
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Saki smiled at him through tears that threatened to fall. It was then she caught the barely suppressed emotions welling behind his eyes. He wanted to cry too. But he couldn't do it here. Not with everyone watching.
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Saki knew exactly what to do. Without a word, she dragged him to his feet. Mikey didn't take orders from anyone, but, just this once, he let her lead. He was too tired to put up a fight, to think, to move. Pulled into the hall, the two quickly slipped away from the celebratory cheers.
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The courtyard was quiet. The entire way, Mikey's hand trembled in hers. It wasn't just his hand, though. Saki could feel his whole body quaking beside her, almost as if he had a bad case of the chills-- though, considering he had just brawled for an hour in the rain, developing a fever wasn't an unlikely conjecture.
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Just as Saki was about to suggest going back inside, perhaps to find a sheltered stairwell instead, Mikey's legs gave out. Toman's leader collapsed into her, and Saki grunted as she caught his full weight, bracing her back against the hospital wall.
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Mikey's body was warm, shuddering violently beneath her grasp, and all Saki could do was gather him so that he didn't unravel.
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"I thought I lost him," Mikey choked. Saki threaded her fingers into his hair, gently stroking his blond locks. In all the eight years she'd known Mikey, there were only two other times she had seen him breakdown like this. First was when his brother died. The second was when he rode his brother's bike for the first time.
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It took a whole lot for Mikey to cry. And this-- almost losing Draken-- this was a whole lot.
Saki knew from experience there wasn't much she could say that Mikey didn't already know. She just had to let the tears run. So Saki did what she could, holding him close as he cried.
It was always surreal holding such strength in her hands. Mikey's name invoked fear everywhere he went, and yet, here, in her arms like this, he was nothing more than a boy who almost lost his friend.
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"Stupid Ken-chin. Making me worry like this," Mikey blubbered.
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"Yeah, he's a real idiot," Saki whispered as she stared up at the stars. "A big lug like him, getting himself stabbed, what a loser."
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"I should demote him," Mikey mumbled into her shoulders.
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"Something lower than errand boy," Saki agreed. "With those injuries, Ken won't be doing anything for a while."
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"How about poop? You know, since he'll just sit there and stink up the mood with his dumb bandages. I can see it already."
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"Toman's resident turd has a nice ring to it. You can break the news to him tomorrow."
"Why tomorrow? I'll do it now." Mikey dug around for his phone, and Saki instinctively shifted aside to give him some space. However, before she could take another step, Mikey's other arm slung around her neck and yanked her back towards him.
"Did I say you could let go?" His voice was gravel against her ears, and Saki had to fight back a shiver of excitement. She was always weak for him when he took charge like this.
"Keep your dick in your pants, pretty boy." But, like a tame kitten, Saki curled into him all the same, clinging to his shoulders as he fiddled with his phone.
Saki sighed, inaudibly. It didn't make sense how someone so ruthless could act so childish. But she couldn't deny that being with Mikey, despite all the violence and turf wars he was involved in, still felt like the safest place in the world.
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"My dick is in my pants," Mikey responded after finishing off the text. "Not my fault you always want to drag it out."
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"Do you mean me or you, Mr. I-didn't-say-you-could-let-go," Saki snarked back.
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Mikey laughed, a genuine laugh; one that made his eyes gleam.
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"Alright, you caught me. Sue me for wanting to hug my girlfriend."
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Saki froze. Girlfriend. She liked how that sounded more than she knew she should.
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They never made it official. Never even talked about it. Because they both knew it wasn't a conversation. Whether or not they felt the same way about each other, it didn't matter. Toman's leader couldn't have a girlfriend. Mikey couldn't have a girlfriend. It made him too vulnerable. A loose end he couldn't afford. As the head of Toman, Mikey had a lot of enemies. And, like the good head he was, Mikey was too smart to help them paint a target.
But sometimes, Saki didn't want to be smart. Sometimes, she wanted to screw everything to hell and just kiss the shit out of him. Especially times like these, after sitting restlessly on borrowed breath; times like these when she was crudely reminded that, in life, there were no guarantees.
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Saki looked at Mikey and gingerly cupped his face as she took in his injuries: the scuff marks, the bruises, the swollen cheek. With every revelation, Saki's heart ached, because she knew this wasn't the worst. Because one day, it could be him. Because one day, instead of Draken, Mikey could be the one fighting for his life. And Saki could be the one losing him. But just knowing it wasn't enough anymore. After what happened with Draken, Saki knew she couldn't anticipate that someday without saying it. Even if it wouldn't change a damn thing, Saki had to tell him.
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"I love you," Saki blurted. "In case I don't get to say it. I want you to know. I love you."
Mikey couldn't believe his ears. He had never felt more uncool, having just bawled his eyes out in front of her. And judging by how raw his face felt, he was certain he had never looked more lame. Yet here this girl was, not even batting an eyelash, earnestly proclaiming her love for him.
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Mikey didn't know how Saki was always managing to throw his guard. Even back at the parking lot-- when she had shown up out of the blue, effortlessly taking down five guys with a flurry of hip throws-- Mikey had felt a rush of something akin to endearment as he watched her lay waste to a world he'd rather die than ask her to be a part of. But time and time again, Saki came charging in; blind, daring, reckless and just so frickin' cool, Mikey was left speechless, wondering how in the world he had gotten so damned lucky.
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"Fuck, Saki." Mikey brought a hand up to grip her wrist.
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Saki hesitated, afraid she had crossed a line, but before she could draw back, Mikey jerked her forwards, crashing their lips together.
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Saki's startled yelp dissolved into a moan when she felt Mikey's lips mold furiously against hers. Hell. She had wanted this for too long. To feel his mouth move against hers, fueling her with a desire so volatile, she was scared she'd implode. Saki careened into Mikey's touch, dragging her fingers through his hair, fisting a handful of his blond locks, and angling her head to kiss him better. Mikey responded, hands gripping her waist hard enough to bruise as he pulled her closer, ever closer, until the space between them was nothing but the frenzied grind of clothes and the erratic beat of hearts.
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When they finally broke for air, Saki slumped against him panting heavily.
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"You're really unfair, you know that?" she mumbled into his shirt. How could she possibly hope to contain her feelings after getting a taste of that?
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Mikey gawked at her.
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"That's my line, stupid. You can't just tell me you love me and expect me not to react. I'm still a man, you know." Mikey huffed indignantly. I love you. It wasn't a phrase he was used to hearing, let alone thinking, and he blessed the night for being dark enough to shroud the blush dusting his cheek.
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"I only said it cuz we both know you're too chicken to."
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Mikey dove in, shutting her up with another kiss.
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"I'm not chicken," he muttered against her lips.
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"Then prove it," Saki breathed. "Say it back. Just calling me your girlfriend doesn't count."
Mikey captured her mouth again. Then again. And again. In a relentless mash of teeth and tongue until her lips were bruised and glistening. Watching the dazed look on her face, Mikey swore he'd never seen a sight more beautiful.
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"I love you," Mikey whispered. "More than you think."
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Saki's heart swelled. Mikey had always been good at hiding his more delicate emotions. He had to be. As the head of Toman, he couldn't allow others to see his vulnerabilities. But Saki knew to love Mikey meant she had to see through all that-- to tear down his guard, to recognize his insecurities, to understand and choose to love him despite all the shit he had going on.
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Some days it was especially hard, particularly on days when Mikey refused to tell her anything. Days when doubt gnawed at her gut with teeth sharper than mice and amassing as easily as rodents bred. Days when she'd question her capacity to stay by his side.
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But days like that amounted to nothing when she compared them to now. To this moment right here. Standing in his arms, covered under the stars, divulging secrets he would never whisper to another soul.
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"Yeah? And how much is that?" Saki couldn't help but challenge him.
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Mikey smirked.
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"A fuck ton."
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Saki smiled, leaning in to kiss him again.
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It was a rhetorical question. Saki had known the answer all along. Even if Mikey couldn't always say it. Even if, for them, it would always just be implied. Saki knew, deep down, it was enough. Hearing his voice, feeling him breathe, knowing he was here and alive. For Saki, it was more than enough.
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