Keep Me Crazy, Keep Me Safe
​a Manjirou "Mikey" Sano x OC one shot
Mikey wasn't a planner. He always did what he wanted, when he wanted: Sleeping in until noon, ordering from the kid's menu, driving a moped to a beach an hour away. As Toman's leader, Mikey's unpredictability made him dangerous; as Saki's unofficial boyfriend, it made him downright infuriating.
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Mikey rarely made plans to come over, often electing to just show up at her door. Given his spontaneity, Saki long-learned to listen for the drone of his engine-- a fairly easy feat in a neighbourhood as quiet as hers-- which was exactly how she found herself standing in her pajamas, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, and pushing open the front door seconds before he could even knock.
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"Flag. I need the flag. Where is it?" Mikey demanded, eyes wild and unfocused.
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Saki paused, frowning as she tried to make sense of what Mikey was saying. Taking in his wind-swept appearance, Saki guessed Mikey must have been out riding-- likely speeding, possibly on the highway.
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"Mikey, it's 2 AM. Can't this wait until tomorrow?" Saki moaned.
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"No, it can't," Mikey said, flatly. He gave her a once-over, and then, deeming she wasn't awake enough, decided to take matters into his own hands. "Just let me in," he sighed. "I'll get it myself."
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As Mikey pushed past her, Saki caught the familiar scent of exhaust and tarmac. Not an unusual concoction. However, the overpowering whiff of iron that followed instantly snapped her out of her daze. Mikey always smelled like an autoparts garage, but the metallic scent on him tonight was different: less refined, more raw.
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Saki grabbed Mikey's hand, jerking him back before he could take another step. Unfurling his palms, Saki took one look at the row of bloody crescents and balled her fists to keep from slapping him.
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"You're bleeding."
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"Huh," Mikey hummed. "Didn't notice."
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Saki pinched the bridge of her nose, hoping it would stave off the oncoming migraine she felt. If Mikey hadn't noticed his nails break through skin, then it meant his hands were probably numb.
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"How long did you ride for?"
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Mikey shrugged. "I don't know. A couple hours?"
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Saki sighed warily. Mikey's hands only went numb when he drove long enough to feel exhaustion-- his posture would go slack and he would slump his weight against the handles. Mikey wasn't one to get tired from just driving. Rather, mindless wandering invigorated him. But riding and thinking? That was a combination for disaster. The minute his thoughts came into the equation, Mikey's energy stores depleted rapidly.
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Saki's fingers hovered over his injuries. She grimaced. Whatever Mikey had been thinking of, whatever he had been talking to his babu about, it likely didn't go well.
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"Stay here," Saki said quietly. "I'll get the first-aid kit."
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Before Mikey could protest, Saki disappeared into the house. He had half a mind to go searching for the flag himself, if it weren't for her next words.
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"If you leave your bloody prints on anything, I'll dent your bike." Her voice echoed through the halls, and Mikey rooted where he stood. He knew from experience that Saki never made empty threats.
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A few moments later, Saki returned: a roll of bandages in one hand, and a bottle of antiseptic in the other. She sat him right on the genkan step and got to work. Mikey barely flinched as she showered the wound with rubbing alcohol.
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"You still can't feel your hands." It wasn't a question.
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"Yeah." Mikey knew denial would only piss her off more.
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Saki worked in silence, eyes furrowing in concentration as she wrapped the bandage around his palms. For Mikey to have busted up his hands like this, Saki knew the decision he made couldn't have been easy. Judging by the deep glower on his face, she knew the outcome wasn't one that made him happy either.
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"I'm not giving you the flag," Saki said finally, as she tied the ends together with resolute force.
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Mikey retracted his hands, rubbing his wrists sorely. "Yeah, well, I'm not asking."
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Mikey made to get up, but Saki stopped him, yanking on the sleeve of his biker uniform. He flashed her an expectant look.
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Saki took a deep breath.
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"Let's go for a ride."
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Mikey raised a disbelieving brow.
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"You hate riding."
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"I know."
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Mikey sighed. "If you're doing this for me, don't. I've already made up my mind. Just give me the flag, Saki."
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Saki shook her head. "No. With your hands looking like that, I don't trust the choices you made."
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Mikey narrowed his gaze. He had been riding his babu for the past four hours, agonizing about Baji and how to best handle Toman's upcoming fight with Valhalla. He didn't need Saki telling him the decision he painstakingly reached was wrong.
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"Well, last I checked, I'm still the head of Toman, and I'm telling you to get the damned flag."
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"Too bad. I'm not giving it to you."
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"Oh yeah? And who the fuck died and made you leader?" Mikey yelled.
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"You did," Saki screamed back.
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Mikey paused. He wasn't used to being spoken to like that, even less so when the backlash was coming from Saki. They had almost always been on the same page.
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Saki leveled her gaze with his.
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"You made me Toman's flag keeper Mikey. I am not letting Pah-Chin wave our banner for the wrong reasons."
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"Pah-Chin's in jail," Mikey mumbled. Saki knew that; but habits often defied change, especially when heated.
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"Then, Peh Yan. Whatever. Point is. You're not getting the flag."
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Mikey breathed out slow. Saki's stubborn streak rivaled his own. It was difficult to argue with her because she never budged, not for anyone. But that was precisely why he was glad he had given the flag to Saki. Because she wasn't scared to challenge him. Because he knew she cared about Toman as much as he did. Because Toman was his. And there was no one Saki cared about more.
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"Why do you always have to be so annoying?" he whispered finally.
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"Check the mirror, asshole. You're the one who's always showing up unannounced-- lately, at ungodly hours with unreasonable demands."
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Mikey chuckled dryly. "A flag is not an unreasonable demand."
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"But I suppose asking you to go for a ride is?"
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Mikey sighed.
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"I already tried that. It didn't work."
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"That's cuz you didn't go to the right place."
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Mikey regarded her quizzically then glanced sorrowfully down at his bandaged hands .
"I'd ask you where that is, but it seems pretty pointless now. I don't think I can drive anymore tonight."
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Saki smiled coyly.
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"I never said I wanted you to drive."
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Mikey stared at her for a full minute before the implication sank in.
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"No. No, absolutely not. You are not driving my babu."
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Saki sighed. "Do you want the flag or not, Mikey?"
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"I do."
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"Then let's go get it."
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"Wha-- You mean you don't have it here?"
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"Are you kidding? Do you know who I live with? If my dad ever found it, he'd skin me alive before disowning me."
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"But he's hardly even home. Didn't you say he's always away, busy judging tournaments or whatever?"
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"That's not the point." Saki jabbed a finger at him. "He's already thrown one prodigy out of his dojo. A man with principles as rigid as his? If he finds out his daughter's a delinquent, she won't be treated any differently."
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"You don't even count as a delinquent. You hate riding."
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"I know. But you love it." Saki leaned in and pressed her forehead to his. "And I love you. Which means I have to try to like it for your sake. So, what do you say? Will you let me ride Shin's bike?"
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Mikey sighed before capturing her lips in a gentle kiss. He could never refuse her, not when she was trying so earnestly for him.
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"Just don't crash it," he relented.
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Mikey was good at handling his anxieties. There weren't a lot of things that could kick his heart rate into overdrive. Except for Saki. Saki always knew how to rattle him. From her bold and untimely love confessions, to her badass, award-winning, martial art skills, to the death-defying way she handled a bike. Mikey didn't know how he continued to survive her.
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"Truck, truck, truck! Watch the truck!"
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Saki veered left narrowly missing the eighteen-wheeler as a deep, angry honk blared out from behind them. Saki screamed then laughed as she cranked the accelerator. The engine revved.
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"Clutch," Mikey yelled above the lashing wind.
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"Whoops."
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Before Mikey could offer more direction, Saki released the clutch.
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Too fast.
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The bike shot forwards and Mikey slammed into her, the strength of his hold nearly cleaving her in two.
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"Can't breathe," Saki gasped, as she clawed at Mikey's arms.
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"That's my line, idiot."
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"Hold that thought, I think this is our exit."
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Mikey barely had time to check for incoming traffic before Saki banked sharply, cutting across three lanes, and grazing the ramp's metal guard.
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"Don't scratch my bike!"
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"Relax, you baby! The CB250T is built stronger than that."
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"It's not the bike I'm worried about, it's the custom-paint job."
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"Then paint it again."
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Mikey knew Saki was riding on adrenaline. Part of him wanted to chastise her for her blatant disregard of his bike's well-being. But part of him wanted to chase her. To match her insanity and forget the unbearable weight of his responsibilities.
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When Saki finally skidded into an abandoned parking lot, both tires spitting up gravel and smoking slightly with the scent of burning rubber, Mikey slumped against her, thoroughly exhausted.
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"Fuck, how are you crazier than Baji?" he moaned in disbelief.
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Saki turned in her seat, cocking her head to the side.
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"Was I really that bad?"
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"I'm surprised no one called the cops."
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Saki laughed as she killed the engine. "Probably knew they wouldn't be able to catch me anyway."
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"Shut up. That's my plate on the line."
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"You mean Shin's. You're not old enough for a license."
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"Yeah well, it's gonna be mine one day. I don't need you racking up those demerit points."
Saki smiled softly. There was a time not so long ago where Saki couldn't bring up Shinichiro's name without Mikey shutting down. She had feared it was a part of Mikey's history she'd never be able to talk about again-- a gut-wrenching notion. Because Shin and Mikey were brothers. They laughed and cried and fought, and Saki didn't want Mikey to forget that. Any of that. Because without Shin, Mikey wouldn't be who, let alone where, he was today.
"Trust me, you do that plenty fine without me."
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"I'm not the one who nearly took out a guardrail."
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"No but you're friends with the jackass who rammed a guy's face into one, for no apparent reason."
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Mikey chuckled.
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"Baji."
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His expression darkened. Saki recognized that look. Stormy gray and cutting sharper than steel. She had suspected Baji was the reason Mikey had torn up his hands.
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Saki wasn't there the night Baji left Toman, but she had heard all about it from Mikey when he came to pick her up after she had won first place at her dojo's annual tournament-- now, three-years running. The reckless way he drove, Saki had throttled Mikey until he was forced to pull over and provide a proper explanation. As Mikey hashed out the details of Baji's betrayal at Toman's meeting earlier that night, Saki memorized his expression. There weren't a lot of things that could shake Mikey's confidence, but Baji's sudden departure was one of them. Even now, as Mikey unconsciously chewed on his lips, Saki could feel the doubt radiating off of him.
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"Hey." Saki touched Mikey's cheek, rubbing a gentle thumb over his mouth to get him to stop his grazing. Mikey looked frustrated enough to draw blood, and she wasn't in the mood to treat any more of his wounds tonight. "Baji's always been a dark horse. But he's a good guy. You know that."
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Mikey sighed.
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"I know; but it's for that reason I can't figure out why he joined those shits at Valhalla."
Mikey clenched his fists, and Saki grabbed his hand before he could tear open his bandages.
"Why does Baji do anything? You've known him for years Mikey, and even you can't answer that. I don't think it's the why that matters anymore."
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Mikey sighed. "You're right. It's not. I just... I don't want to fight him, Saki. He's my friend. And I'm so fucking pissed he drove me into this corner."
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Saki's heart throbbed. Mikey was childish in so many ways, but when shit came to town, especially when it involved his friends, he'd never looked more intense. Saki knew the lengths Mikey would go to to protect those he cared about. Even if it meant losing himself, he'd do it-- which was why Saki had to make sure that didn't happen. Not again. Not ever.
"Come on," Saki hopped off the bike, nodding for Mikey to follow.
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It wasn't until Mikey's feet hit the ground that he noticed where they were. The twinkling lights of the powerplant reflected off the water; floating like stars, but doubly as radiant.
"Why'd you hide the flag here?" Mikey asked as he stared, mesmerized, across the river.
"Two reasons." Saki nodded to the industrial plant. "One, those lights never go out. So if there's ever a Toman emergency, no matter at what depraved hour, I'll still be able to find our colours. And two..."
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Saki led Mikey over to the chain-linked fence. She gingerly curled her fingers around the twisted metal.
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"I..." she paused, swallowing hard. "I don't want a repeat of that night."
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Her downcast expression immediately drew Mikey out of his trance. Saki only looked like that when she was reliving a nightmare. He frowned. He hated how there were already too many to count.
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"What night?"
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Saki looked deliberately at him then.
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"The night you vouched for Kazutora."
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Mikey inhaled sharply. Talking about Shin was one thing. But Kazutora? That was an entirely different conversation. His posture went rigid at the mere mention of his name.
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"I don't remember much about that night," Mikey mumbled finally. "It's a bit of a blur."
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Saki took a deep breath. She didn't like talking about that night either. Because it scared her. Because it was the first time her words hadn't been able to reach him. Because it was the first time Mikey had completely lost it.
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"You blacked out, Mikey. Not literally, but... you... you were gone." Saki gently took his hand, grazing her fingers across his bandaged knuckles. "15 stitches... Because you wouldn't stop punching this stupid fence." Saki shuddered remembering the bloody gash and the snatches of white that either belonged to his bone or tendon, she still wasn't sure. "I had to place you in a chokehold and knee you from behind, and even then you fought-- enough to break three of my ribs."
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Mikey choked. "Fuck, really? I'm sorry... I... I don't remember any of that."
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Saki rounded on him, and it was then he saw the tears beading in the corners of her eyes. Mikey's eyes widened, barely registering her next words. Saki rarely cried, so he knew whatever he did that night, he must have fucked up big time.
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"You should be sorry! You scared me half to death. I hid the flag here as a reminder to myself to never let something like that happen again. And this," Saki held up his wounded hand, giving it a firm shake. "This tells me it's happening again. I don't want you to hate the choices you make Mikey. Not when you'll just end up tearing yourself apart because of it."
Mikey sighed heavily, running a hand through his wild locks.
"I don't have a choice, Saki. You know the rules. Toman doesn't show mercy to traitors. Baji's no exception."
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"I'm not asking you to make an exception. I'm asking you to make a decision you can live with."
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"But that's just it! There's no decision to make! Baji broke the rules. So, he'll suffer the consequences. Simple as that."
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"Why do you sound so much like my dad? Can you just grow the fuck down for a second? Screw the rules. You never obeyed them anyway." Saki gripped his shoulder, and his gaze flitted to hers. "What do you want? Not as Toman's leader, but as yourself. What do you want, Mikey?"
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Mikey paused. Saki had always been stupidly straightforward. Even now, the way she regarded him, as if he wasn't the leader of over 100 rowdy bikers, as if he wasn't balancing the delicate expectations of a freshly expanded group, as if he could say anything he wanted, and she'd take it, grant it, no questions asked. When she looked at him like that, all fierce and earnest, Mikey knew he couldn't lie.
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"I want Baji back," Mikey whispered. He had been scared to say it, but he knew the moment the words left his mouth, it was nothing but truth.
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Saki smiled. His words rang clearer than crystal.
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"Then let's get him back."
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Mikey sighed, shaking his head.
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"It's not that simple. Toman's never going to agree."
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Saki smacked both his cheeks, firmly cupping his face as she levelled her stare.
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"You are Toman, Mikey. The gang is yours. All for one. One for all. Wasn't that the motto Toman was founded on?"
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Mikey's eyes widened in remembrance.
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"If you want Baji back, then we'll get Baji back. If that's your decision, Toman'll do it. As long as it's coming from here," Saki pressed a hand to his chest, "I'll let you do anything."
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Mikey's heart soared. He commanded a gang of miscreants, scrapped in countless high-stake brawls, but the one person he could never win against was Saki. Because she saw through him as easily as glass. Knew him better than he knew himself. Every decision he made, no matter how unfair or impossible it seemed, Saki always had a way of making it seem okay-- more than okay, easy even. The casual way she swooped in and solved all his problems, it vexed him sometimes, enough for him to want to bully her a little.
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Mikey found her hand and gave it a firm squeeze, before bringing it up to his lips and kissing her fingers.
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"You'll let me do anything?" he repeated, eyes glinting with mischief as he peered up at her from behind his lashes.
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Saki's breath hitched. When his voice dropped an octave like that, she often forgot how to breathe.
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"Anything," she whispered.
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Mikey didn't need further confirmation. In a flash, he tugged Saki forwards and descended on her, capturing her mouth with his. Mikey always kissed her like he was touch-starved. And though Saki had expected the intensity, she never knew how to brace for it.
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Startled, Saki took a step back, hitting the chain-linked fence. But Mikey wouldn't let her run. He followed close, hands coming up to grip the cool metal, caging her in. The fence rattled around them, but neither seemed too bothered by the sound. It was like Mikey was trying to deposit all the anger and frustration he felt over the past few days. And Saki let him, willingly, willfully. Whether he wanted to taint her or devour her. It didn't matter. Because if Saki could ease the immense pressure he felt, even just a little, she'd let him ruin her.
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"Fuck, I don't know what I'd do without you, Sakicchi," Mikey mumbled into her neck as he nipped at the sensitive skin.
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Saki lost herself in the feel of him, too preoccupied to remember or even care that the bruises he left would be a pain to hide tomorrow. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered the nickname, and she grinned. It'd been a while since Mikey had used it. Not surprising, when lately, all their conversations had been fraught with tension. Saki was glad the mood around them was finally light enough for him to start joking.
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"You'll be fine, Mikey. Even without me. You're invincible, remember?"
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Mikey sighed, pulling away just enough to fit their foreheads together.
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"I'm only invincible when I'm with you."
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Saki groaned before pecking his lips.
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"You're such a sap."
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Mikey pinched her arm. "Shut up. You know I'm cool."
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Saki rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face gave her away.
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"Come on, let's hurry and find that flag so we can get out of here. I can't stand being around this fence."
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Mikey pressed her into the gated structure, and he knew the shudder that wracked her body wasn't just because she was flushed against one of her worst nightmares.
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"Such a shame. Cuz this really is a nice spot," he said, gesturing to the soft industrial glow of the powerplant. "I'd hate for a silly fence to ruin that for you."
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Saki heard the teasing lilt in his voice; the one that raised the hairs on the back of her neck.
"Mikey..." she started, tone pitching in warning. "What are you thinking?"
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"You said these lights never go out, right? So, I'm thinking the flag can wait. Let's make a better memory with this fence, one that I can actually remember too."
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"Are you crazy?! What if someone sees us?!"
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"At this hour? In an abandoned parking lot? I don't think anyone's watching."
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Saki recognized the look in his eyes. Starved and determined. When Mikey wanted something, he got it. And the way he eyed her? Mikey's gaze could win battles before they even started. Saki never stood a chance.
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"You're crazy," she muttered.
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"Yeah, but you love that."
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Saki couldn't lie. She did love that. From his childish tendency to his self-destructive personality to the crazy way he loved his friends. Mikey was insane. And the way he loved her? Even more so. But Saki could handle it. She was Toman's keeper. She was Mikey's keeper. And no matter how impossibly screwed up his life got, Saki vowed she'd be there. Not just for him, but with him. Her sleep, her dignity, her innocence, her life. Whatever the cost. She'd sacrifice anything to keep him safe. And if that made her crazy, then good.
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Because you had to be a little crazy to handle falling in love with Toman's top.
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